Men-On-Pause; A Paranormal Women's Fiction Novel (Bells and Spells Book 2) Read online

  Marilyn turned to look at her friend with bewilderment. “He’s my son…”

  “And he’s like a puppet on a string once you know how to pull them,” Claudia said, and winked. Poor little Boo, but he was still so much fun to tease.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ~

  “Nervous?” Neal asked.

  Cain walked beside him as they approached the witches’ house. It wasn’t nerves so much as wondering how the hell he got dragged there in the first place. He’d much prefer hunting down the shifter and tracking him to find out what was going on, but here he was, standing on the doorstep of trouble, and somewhat willingly bringing that on himself. “No.”

  Neal tossed a mocking grin in the shifter’s direction, and Cain physically steeled himself for what he was about to do. “I have better things to do with my time,” he said, stating his case when the vampire questioned him by raising just one eyebrow. “I could be doing other things.”

  “Like tracking the shifter?” Neal said, offering the shifter a way out of his predicament. There was something about his demeanour that Neal had picked up on – it might not have been nerves, but he was jumpy, and his beast was on edge.

  “Exactly,” Cain grabbed the lifeline with both hands.

  Neal reached up and thumped his fist against the wood like the world would end if he didn’t get inside those doors. Cain screwed up his face and stared at the vampire in disbelief.

  “Too late, unless you want them to catch you running away with your tail between your legs.” Neal mocked him with a grin.

  “That’s how you knock?”

  “No,” Neal said, taking a giant step back away from the door. “That’s how you knocked.”

  By the time Cain had caught up with the vampire’s game, it was too damn late. The door was yanked open, and the witch he’d run into earlier was standing there staring at him like she was going to fry him on the spot without even the courtesy of killing him first.

  “That was…” He looked around for the vampire, ready to throw him under the bus, but found the spot vacant. He did spot the vampire back at the car, offering him a wave and a smile, and he wanted to rip the man’s head off and hand it to him.

  “The hounds of hell had better be coming up my driveway,” Claudia said, and Cain turned a slow look on the witch as he tried to work out what to say next that wouldn’t get him fried.

  “They’d probably be better company,” he said; figuring he was in for a frying no matter what he said. That witch didn’t strike him as being easy to get along with, even if she was easy on the eyes.

  “Excuse me?” Claudia demanded, unsure if she wanted him fried or grilled, but she held off when the vampire joined them.

  Neal slapped a hard hand down on the shifter’s shoulder and heard him growl just a little, just enough for it to be a warning without creating more tension with the witch. “What my friend means is, we may have trouble, and we need to speak to the idiot warlock.”

  “Scott?” Claudia drew her death glare away from Cain and directed it to Neal.

  “That’s what I said,” Neal replied, and turned to look at Cain. “Didn’t you hear me say that?”

  “Oh, you want my help?” Cain growled, offering the vampire an accusing look.

  “On second thoughts,” Neal said and turned a smile onto Claudia. “Do you want him alive or dead?”

  “The shifter or the warlock?” she asked, pushing out a hip and drawing Cain attention down her body, and he had a very appealing up close and personal view of that curvy body.

  Then her words struck a chord within him, and he snapped to attention. “What’d I do?” he grumbled.

  “Shall we start with rude, and end with hammering on the door, or maybe you’d like to revisit your little quip?” she asked, and Cain was mesmerised by her witching finger that was making small circles in the air practically right in front of his nose.

  “He doesn’t get out much – no friends,” Neal offered on a harsh whisper. “But, he doesn’t mean any harm – I think,” he added, and took a second or two to consider it. “But, if you want to fry him, can we get to it, and then you can tell Scott to come out and play with the big boys.”

  Claudia eyed them both in turn, ending with the vampire. “You’re funny rude, he’s just rude,” she said. “Wait here.” She slammed the door closed in their face and turned away grinning.

  “Tell me that wasn’t Jake,” Marilyn said; strolling from one side of the hall to the other.

  “It wasn’t your ex; it was your other suitor come to call, Miss Marilyn,” Claudia teased in an accent that Marilyn couldn’t place.

  Marilyn stopped in her tracks and offered Claudia a curious look. “Do tell,” she said, and then immediately waved her hand in the air. “Scratch that, don’t bother. I don’t care.”

  “The vampire wants to know if Scott can come out to play,” Claudia informed her and Marilyn turned a slow look back on her. “Don’t shoot the messenger.”

  “Why? What’s going on?” Marilyn asked as a feeling like a heavy rock set up home inside her stomach and refused to budge.

  “Maybe he wants to get to know his new son-in…” Claudia chuckled and held up her hands in mock surrender as Marilyn started towards her with a face like thunder. “Seriously, do not shoot the messenger.”

  “How about I fry you a little?” Marilyn asked, but she made a beeline for the front door and yanked it open. “What do you want with my son?” she demanded, eyeing the vampire for only a moment before she turned her suspicions on the shifter at his side. She knew who he was, and she didn’t have to like him just because he was – family.

  “Don’t you just love how protection mama-witch’s are?” Neal said with an elbow in the shifter’s side. “Can Scott not speak for himself?”

  “Trust ye not,” Marilyn aimed that comment to hit right between the vampire’s eyeballs.

  “After all we’ve been through together?” Neal asked, offering her an amused look of a man wrongly accused, and they both knew it.

  “I have a ghost upstairs that tells me…”

  “You need better protection spells,” Neal said and grimaced. “First ruled of witchy-dom, protect thyself.”

  Marilyn opened her mouth to speak but thought better of it. Then she slammed the door closed on them once more and turned on her heels. “Some days are sent to try our goodness, right?” she asked Claudia.

  Claudia shrugged. “Meh.”

  “Scott!” Marilyn yelled, and she was sure she heard a couple of groans from outside the front door. That made her smile.

  Scott appeared on the upstairs landing. “You screamed?”

  Claudia hooked a finger in his direction. “Your mother needs to have that talk with you about what the birds and the bees do – it’s about time you know the truth, little guy.”

  Marilyn couldn’t help but chuckle. She did have the good grace to cover her smile with her hand.

  Scott immediately turned on his heels and went to walk away as he grumbled something that neither of them could hear.

  “The vampire is at the door for you,” Marilyn called.

  “And he brought another playmate,” Claudia added.

  “No rest for the wicked,” Marilyn said.

  “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time, Boo,” Claudia added as Scott padded down the stairs and came towards them.

  “Thanks,” he said. “I’ll take it from here.”

  “Are we being dismissed?” Claudia asked, tossing a curious but mischievous look at Marilyn.

  “I think we are,” Marilyn said.

  “Maybe someone brought a porn magazine to the party,” Claudia said.

  “Don’t they get that it’s all online nowadays?” Marilyn asked and knew she’d walked into something when Claudia’s eyes sparkled with mischief.

  “So, that’s why you keep a laptop beside your bed,” Claudia’s voice was accusing.

  Marilyn’s mouth hung open for a long moment and then snapped s
hut. She took off for the stairs on fast feet. “And that’s how you get rid of your mother,” Claudia said with a gleeful look at Scott.

  “I have the strangest family in the universe,” Scott said, shaking his head in dismay. “And still the ground doesn’t open up and swallow me whole.”

  “Cheer up, maybe the vampire is here to kill you,” Claudia said. “Just remember; he’s been invited in.” She offered him a wink and took off after Marilyn.

  ~

  “Surprise!” Claudia yelled; which caused Marilyn to jump out of her skin as she came out of the bathroom with her head down, checking everything was in place, and not paying attention to her surroundings. It wasn’t as if a lunatic screamed at you every day of the week, but with her family, anything was possible.

  “Are you insane?” Marilyn hissed, her eyes wide, and her mouth pinched as she eyed her best friend from beneath her eyelashes.

  Claudia looked like she had a smile just waiting to burst free. “You know they say you should do one thing a day to give your heart a workout – there’s yours – I’m just being helpful and thinking of you,” she announced with glee.

  Marilyn pulled her head back and grunted in disapproval. “Does it say how many heart attacks that leads to?”

  Claudia frowned. “I didn’t read that far, I got bored, but here,” she said, and yanked out a bag from behind her back. Marilyn wasn’t taking the bait, and she folded her arms and questioned her friend with raised eyebrows. “Clothes – yours – picture drawn?”

  Claudia barely got the words out of her mouth when Marilyn came at her like a raging bull and snatched the bag before Claudia could do something dastardly like swipe them away again. She reached in with hope and yanked out a pair of legwarmers and a twisted cotton headband. There was a sinking feeling inside of her. “What’s this?”

  CHAPTER NINE

  ~

  “Eighties night at the grill, be there or be square, but…” She held up her witching finger to silence Marilyn. “Huey Lewis did say it was Hip to be Square, but that’s not the point…”

  “No, the point is; I’m not going anywhere with you until you return my clothes,” Marilyn said sweetly, but the smile that went with it was sickly sour. “You’ll be going alone.”

  “Umm, no, pretty much everyone but your mother is going, so, if you want to spend the night here alone with her…”

  “I’ll just talk to Lottie…”

  “Lottie’s going; she’s going to dress up as Dolly Parton,” Claudia said and got lost in the thought of it.

  “And I get legwarmers?”

  “I figured Olivia Newton-John – you know, Physical,” Claudia flexed her muscles and Marilyn sighed. “Or a kid from Fame?”

  “I’m not going,” Marilyn grumbled and flopped down on the bed clutching the legwarmers to her chest.

  “Is it the vampire again?” Claudia asked, and ducked as the legwarmers flew at her at high speed. “Am I warm?” she quipped and grinned.

  “Why has my life become so…?”

  “Much fun?”

  “Complicated.” Marilyn groaned. “Neal, Scott, Jake – you…”

  “I can leave…”

  “And I get to keep your ghost of bad things past – no thanks,” Marilyn pushed up and eyed her friend. “Confession?”

  Claudia perked up. “My favourite kind.”

  “I might have wished for…”

  “A man?”

  Marilyn eyed her with disdain. “Something to happen, something out of the norm, something…”

  “Not boring and humdrum?”

  “Exactly.” Marilyn looked downcast.

  “Congratulations – wish granted,” Claudia said, motioning around her.

  “But now that I have it…”

  “Ah, the old – be careful what you wish for – chestnut.”

  “Yes.”

  “Wishers’ remorse.”

  “Yes.”

  “The curse of the – ‘Lucy, you got some explaining to do.”

  “Yes, yes, yes,” Marilyn said, pushing to her feet and padding over to Claudia with a downcast look, and pleading eyes. “How do I make it stop?”

  “You could try wishing for normal again,” Claudia said then grimaced. “Yeah, but I don’t think that’s gonna go in your favour with the ancestors. I mean, they grant you your wish and then you do an about-face?”

  Marilyn sighed. “I’m tired. I miss normal. I don’t want the ghost of the golfing guy in my spare bedroom…”

  “My bedroom…”

  “That too,” Marilyn said, and half-heartedly lifted her hands only inches and dropped them again. “It a little like a madhouse around here.”

  “I say embrace the madness,” Claudia said with a shrug and a smile. “Who knows, we could all be dead tomorrow?”

  “That’s comforting,” Marilyn said with a scowl.

  “Live for the moment, have no regrets, love whenever you can, and above all else – always make sure that your skirt isn’t tucked into the back of your panties when exiting the ladies room.”

  Marilyn frowned. “Sage advice,” she said and rolled her eyes.

  “I still have nightmares about being eight at school and…”

  “Your dress was hoisted up and tucked into…”

  “My panties, yes,” Claudia said as her top lip curled upwards, and Marilyn giggled and covered her mouth with both hands. “It was traumatic…”

  “I remember,” Marilyn said and snorted a giggle. Her eyes sparkled with humour.

  “I hate you,” Claudia said, and Marilyn burst into laughter. “I really, really hate you.” That only made Marilyn’s fit of laughter worse. “No, seriously, laugh at my pain.”

  “Oh, stop it,” Marilyn said, trying not to chuckle. “It was forgotten by…?”

  “Never,” Claudia said. “I even had Larry Lerkins checking the back of my dress at prom to see if I’d screwed up.”

  Marilyn chuckled once more and pressed her lips together. “Larry Lerkins, he runs the car dealership over on…”

  “I know,” Claudia said, and a wicked smile graced her lips. “The one that gets egged every All Hallows Eve.”

  Marilyn opened her mouth wide and gasped. “You!”

  “Me.” Claudia stood tall and proud.

  “Is that really why you come back every All Hallows?” Marilyn said, narrowing her eyes.

  “It’s tradition we spend All Hallows Eve together, and tradition I sneak off and egg every car on the lot.” She said with pride.

  “Harsh,” Marilyn scolded her.

  “But necessary,” Claudia said. “Embrace your inner witch,” she added with zest. “And come to the eighties night tonight,” she begged.

  “That’s embracing my inner witch?”

  “Or you could embrace the vampire while we’re all out,” Claudia offered her a wicked smile of intent.

  “Don’t you dare…”

  “Then say you’ll come?” Claudia stuck out her bottom lip and offered her a pleading look that riled her friend’s guilt complex.

  “Fine,” Marilyn groaned, not really seeing any way to get out of it, and reluctantly resigned to her fate. “But, I’m not wearing legwarmers, and I want my clothes back.”

  “Half now, half when we get rid of the golfing guy,” Claudia offered.

  “Deal.”

  “Done.”

  “You have been. I would have gone when you gave me that pleading pathetic look,” Marilyn said, mentally licking her finger and marking a point for her team.

  Claudia offered her a big fat winning grin. “And I would have given you back all your clothes.”

  Ugh! Marilyn stuck her middle finger up and turned away.

  “You’re skirts tucked into your panties,” Claudia said, and Marilyn jumped in place and reached around, but her skirt was just fine. By the time she’d turned to eye her friend with mock contempt, Claudia was gone, and she was alone again.

  ~

  “Holy smokes, Lottie,” Marily
n said as the elder walked up to the bar dressed in her full Dolly Parton lookalike costume. “You’re breast got here about a minute before you did.”

  Lottie’s grin was epically wicked and full of pride. “I know, fabulous, aren’t they?” She arched her back and pushed them out further.

  “I’m blind,” Claudia said, looking down at the perky globes that had been pushed up and pushed together. “You could park a pushbike in that cleavage.”

  “What kind of scaffolding did you use to hoist them into place and keep them there?” Marilyn asked, tipping her head from one side to the other and trying to work out if that was all Lottie or she’d used two toilet rolls to pad them out.

  “A bra three sized to small, and it’s boned,” Lottie informed her.

  “With what, a whole whale?” Claudia asked, and did a double-take as Cain walked into the bar. “Speaking of big breasts.” She nodded in his direction, and the three witches turned to look.

  Behind Cain came Amber and Josh, and someone she didn’t recognise.

  “Who’s that?” Lottie asked, getting a good look at the shifter that accompanied them.

  “I don’t know,” Marilyn said, eyeing the man.

  Six-foot-tall with a mane of shocking white hair and muscles like Popeye beneath the tight tee, he certainly fitted into that family. Blue jeans and a black leather jacket hooked over his finger and back over one broad shoulder made him look rough and ready, but ready for what they couldn’t tell – that was something you didn’t see every day.

  “Let’s go find out,” Lottie said, and turned her breasts in his direction, but his eyes snapped her way, and for one long moment they narrowed before he offered her a crooked smile. “I think it got hot in here.”

  “Careful you don’t set your breasts alight,” Claudia teased, leaning in towards Lottie and whispering. “That’s a whole lot of shifter.”